What’s the Difference between coaching and therapy? Here’s my perspective

People often ask me about the difference between coaching and therapy, and my own journey has given me a deep understanding of both. Over twenty years ago, I began working with a highly regarded therapist at the Group Analytical Centre in London - considered one of the best at the time. While there are many different types of therapy, most are still rooted in Freudian teachings, which I’ve come to view as both outdated and limiting.

I spent five years in traditional therapy, attending both individual and group sessions. While I became more emotionally aware, many of my unhealthy patterns remained unchanged. I often found myself blaming the past for my present behaviours, feeling stuck in the role of a victim. My relationships- especially with my mother- actually grew more strained during that time.

To be clear, my therapist was a kind and committed professional, doing her best with the tools she had. I grew deeply attached to her, even though I knew nothing about her personally. That’s common in therapy - practitioners are trained not to share their own stories. But now, I see that distance as a missed opportunity. In contrast, I believe that sharing personal insight and lived experiences can be incredibly powerful. It creates connection, not seperation, and often helps guide clients toward their own breakthroughs.

In coaching, the focus shifts from analysing the past to becoming fully aware of the present. We explore what it means to be grounded here and now -how presence connects us to our intuition, wisdom, and natural instincts. When we live in the present, we experience life more fully, rather than being tethered to old naratives. Constantly dissecting the past can keep us feeling stuck there, and that’s not a habit I recommend - especially given what I now understand about the mind, thought, and consciouness.

The truth is, our thoughts shape our reality. Once we see that cleary, we gain the tools to navigate life with greater ease. Identifying as a victim of our past not only limits us- it disempowers us. We all have an incredible capacity for growth and trasformation. But to assess it, we must be willing to let go of what we think we know, and open ourselves to fresh insight. These moments of clarity-born from presence, not over-analysis-can shift our entire perspective.

An essential part of this process is learning to set healthy boundaries. True growth means honouring ourselves - not by ignoring harmful behaviours, but by standing in self respect. It’s about accountability, not avoidance.. This is’nt spiritual bypassing. We’re not pretending difficult emotions don’t exist. Instead, we face reality with clarity and compassion - for ourselves and for others. When we respect our own needs, we create space for genuine, nourishing relationships.

What truly sets coaching apart is the lightness and Joy that comes from reconnecting with our true nature. My aim is for our sessions to feel uplifting because we’re not dwelling in the past, but stepping into possibility. We release what no longer serves us and tune into the wisdom that’s always been within.

Many of my teachers continue coaching well past retirement age because this work is so energising, not draining. That, in itself, says a lot about the difference between therapy and coaching.

I hope this has helped clarify a bit more about who I am and what I do. If this approach resinates with you, I invite you to explore it further. There’s a lightness in letting go and a power in truly being present.